hello hello. today we had buddy training. i made a fool out of myself again. i was introducing myself and then i did the air punching thing. *bangs head* i don't know why i keep doing the air punching thing. its like a disease (sorry sp?) hee:). so i kept thinking, "why did i do the air punching thing?" or maybe it wasnt really the air punching thing. felt insecure again about how i introduced myself. ahh puberty.

i watched Desperate housewives ytd. its quite a nice show except its a bit racy. but other than that its great i think. its starts of with a murder. Mary Alice has killed herself or was killed and so they're at the funeral. and the lady who's revealing the secrets in this neighbourhood is really Mary Alice. not her exactly, just her voice. so she narrates the whole mystery and the lives of these 4 desperate housewives. and she shows that as perfect as the neighbourhood seems, its not always so. so yeah. its a nice show. just flip the channels to Disney sometimes. haha.

i'm in love with the chicken and cheese Dosai in school! but its fattening. but the thing is all good food is fattening right? i've been eating popiah religiously every recess. i give myself 2 weeks and i'll put on more weight. heh XD. then i'll be talking about losing weight again. and then i'll eat again. and the cycle continues!

sometimes i hate myself for being like this. being so, weird and hyper. but i don't know. i guess its just me right? typical michelle always afraid of everything. being the cowardly cow that she is. but somehow i'd rather be a cow than anything else.

ahh! *kicks myself* i need help!!

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

this entry is dedicated to Sarah, my best friend

Sarah left today. Gladys, Jomel and myself went to the airport to send her off. when i went there, i didn't know what to expect. would i cry? what was happening? and the thought that Sarah was leaving in 2 hours was in my head but i sorta couldnt get it yet. its not that i couldnt accept it. i just didn't feel it. we arrived and met Sarah. we talked (Jomel screamed heeXD) and bullied each other like we used to. it was like she was going on holiday. but the only thing was that she wasnt.

when we left i still hadnt felt it yet. Sarah was going but i couldnt get it yet. i still felt that she would be there just a phone call away to go to hq or to sms and chat to when i'm bored or feeling lousy it hadnt hit me yet that she was never going to come back and even if she did, it would only be for 2 weeks maybe or 3. but the moment i stepped out of the station and on to the route we used to take home, it hit me. all at one shot. i walked up the hill and memories atrted flooding into my head. i stopped and looked back at the other route we used to take home and i could just picture us singing and laughing all the way home. i went to the swing playground. i stopped like a mad person at the bottom of the steps. i thought of the day we three got the results of which school we were going to. it was like a movie playing in front me. but all there was were 2 empty swings. when i got there i remembered how we used rush to the swings and you and Eunice would always get it first. then we would sing whatever songs we thought of and talk. i swinged myself and then i realised i couldn't go very high because everytime we were there you would swing me. i scrolled over at the pictures we took about an hour before and i felt horrible. i don't think that was the goodbye you wanted. i wish i could have done more. when i left i gave you a call. just to see how you were doing.

i walked home. quite slowly. i didnt want to pass your house. so i went to the playground. i thought of Eunice's birthday party. and took pictures of our jam notes. i sat there for a while. and kept looking at the monkey bars. the one we used to lie on and talk or argue whether the blinking light in the sky was a plane or a star. i had fun last night. when we had our midnight feast. Eunice cracked me up so much that it was a happy occasion. we acted like we were just hanging out and even though we kept going "you're gonna leave in 16 hours" we didnt get it. we were happy. but i think thats better right? i don't think you'd want a sad good bye.

i told myself to think that you were in another school. we'd still see each other just not often. but i couldnt because you were in my school and you were going through everything i was going through. and every morning on my way to school i'd pass by your empty house and remeber. i couldnt help it but you were gone. we'd never have all the things we used to, the 3 of us. the crazy parties and hq moments. but this is not about that. i sound so horrible right now but its not. this isnt about me or how we used to have things. its about you and the new things we will have. everything that i was thinking of were all memories. memories that i will love and cherish forever. but, no matter how much we try, we can never relive those memories again. thats why we have new memories. new things that we do together to remind us of each other. so yes i'm sad that you're gone but i'm also happy. because now i realise that it isn't where you are that matters. you can be in Perth or America or the North Pole and you'd still have a part with me, with us. i'm glad that we had what we had. i'm happy that we fought, made up, lazed around and gone crazy. because thats what friends do. they're happy for each other. and i'm happy for you.

i know we wont be able to go to all the places we used to but now we have new thing to live for. i want to know about how you're doing in Australia and you to know what i'm up to. but i'm scared now. i'm scared that we won't be as close. i'm scared that one day we'll just forget. maybe the first few weeks you're in Australia we'll talk alot but what about after that. i'm scared that when we turn 16 we won't even talk to each other anymore. i don't know what will happen in the future. but its ok. i'm ok. we'll all be ok. i know i'm not making much sense right now and you probably won't read this for a long time. i don't know. i feel that i've lost my best friend. but i really havent. you may not be 2 streets away but you're here. and you'll always be here.

so good luck Sarah hee:) friends forever.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

hey! ok i cant write alot because i'm not suppsoed to be on the computer and all. today was a fun day. we had school till 12 and i'm in love with the popiah from the orange plate stall. hee:) after that we went for drama and Miss Janice Lee is our new drama teacher. it was fun. we did drama excercises on freeze frames. after that we stayed back to make the souvenirs for the sec 1's. we're making this snapping thing. we call it a snapping thing. you know the ones that have scene 1 take 3 on them? those ones. although we didn't make the amount we were suppsoed to make today, it was still fun. i have no idea why i keep using the word fun in my posts. haha. ok i'm 1 minute off my time. the years been great so far and hopefully it'll get better right!

right!!

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

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