hey! had drama today. bonding again. it was really fun. we were at Macdonals like always and i made a fool out of myself again by waving. well ok, i wont relate the whole story. but an interesting topic came up. school discrimination. you know about racial discrimination, religious discrimination, status discrimination. and we dont really talk about school discrimination. you know like how we give this certain school a brand. like everyone from this school is a certain way. you know (not implying anything whatsoever) how people always think kc girls are mean? that way. ok, i'm going to finish this but first,

this is totally random btw:


(i deleted this part, but for those of you who havent read it yet, its really silly but actually very cute. okok i'll stop now.)


okXD. its nice right? haha. okok, i was at school discrimination. yes.

so aisha said today that someone told her, that when people think of TK, they think:

1. 50% mean people
2. 30% (i think) super nerds
3. 20% people that you dont care about.

i mean thats not what TK really is right? how can we generalise that everyone from that schools like that? and i mean if you go to any school, there will be mean people. there will also be nerdy people and there will be other people as well. so basically i can say the same about another school. because they're just stereotypes that we use to label schools. like for example, some schools have Ah Lian's or Ah Bengs, Mads (is this the spelling? hee i dont really know) and Minahs. but that doesnt mean everyone from that school is like that. like RGS for example. not all of them are nerds, some of them may be the total opposite and bimbos instead (not meaning anything again). so how can we just generalise a school like that?

so today at the table we were talking about many schools and VS came up. and Aisha (is it? i'm not sure, sorry) said that most people from VS think that TK girls are cheap. this boy said it once (in Malay) he went something like "oh TK girl, so cheap." i think, haha. correct me if i'm wrong. and i think thats wrong. i mean just becasue we're from TK doesnt mean we're cheap. many people from TK are very upright and they dont flirt with guys. so imagine if you're like that and someone takes a look at your school uni and goes "oh shes cheap." its wrong right? again i'm not generalising that all VS guys are like that. but i'm just saying that its wrong to generalise.

but then again i guess it has to do with the school upbringing. you know if majority of the people in the school are like that, others will be influenced as well and maybe they will be liek that as well. but not everyones like that right? i mean being in secondary school must we really conform to be just like one another? its so communist! in a way. i mean everyone feels pressured to act a certain way, speak a certain way even if its completely different from who they are because they want other people to accept them. that shouldnt be the way. i'm contradicting myself now becasue i do that. why can't we all just be whoever we are without caring? i guess theres no way. so everyone starts morphing into each other and before you knwo it, everyones the same. theres no uniqueness. no spice. everything will be so bland. because no matter what you do, everyone will be doing it as well. whats so special about that then? okok, got sidetracked. hee:).

so we were talking about schools. yep i mean its wrong to think that everyone from ACS or MGS are spoilt. i mean they're rich but that doesnt mean they're spoilt. or rather that all of them are spoilt. so this got me thinking. you know like when you take the 10 home and you pass Chai Chee? i know some people just dread it becasue sometimes they disturb you. i mean like i've gone through it myself. and i cant help thinking everytime i pass Chai Chee. "uhoh. Chai Chee.". but thats wrong. because i'd be doing the same thing. i'd be generalising that everyone fromChai Chee is like that. and for all you know, they might not be. so to stick to my words, i will stop discriminating against Chai Chee for a start.

okok, i know its not like you guys will be enlightened or anything. but i mean at least think about it. if you really bothered to read it all. heh, i know i write a lot. and i cant use my new phone now. it freaked out a bit so i'm back to Nokia. haha, i love my Nokia. i quote Sit "I told you. Nokia is always better."

okok, i get it Siti XD. 2nd "things" next friday. wish me luck! and yes you can pray that i dont embarrass myself as well. because some how, some way, i think i will.

*bangs head on the wall* this is my life.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

hello, hello. well ok, one word to sum up today, or actually the whole week now that i think about it- drama. on Monday, well Monday was pretty ok but there was the thing with the lady from the office. on Tuesday, first you knwo the whole morning announcement thing. then i freaked out, called mum, panicked when there was a spring test so i totally blanked out. and then i found out i failed again. after that was the history ca so yea, tuesday was bad and then my letter got returned becasue i needed a prents letter. wednesday, gets worse! i had to tell so many people about Thursday. and worse, i had to tell teachers because i'd be missing class. so just imagine how embarrassing it was. i spent the whole day running to the office and looking for Miss Terry and well, yea. and then after drama we had bonding and Marissa told us her wonderful stories ( much more exciting than my life). and then drama hit again and i had a good heart to heart with Lorraine. it was nice! we have to do it again. on Thursday, the day started out fine. until i embarrassed myself again (i do alot of that right?) because i couldnt speak proper chinese. and then after that i embarrassed myself again, dont ask please. horrible moments. but Thursday was fun! just you know embarrassing becasue of what i had to do. and then today well today. today just had drama written all over it.

art class. mdm Seah freaked out. and it was so scary. i was just telling WanShee we should be nicer to her becasue shes making an effort. but like, i dont know. too weird and then after school. well ok let me get on to this.

"For todays forecast we'll be seeing showers, at approximately 1230 pm, and twice later on in the afternoon around 4-5 and later on again at 650. 4 showers in a day, so its recommended to carry around your umbrella, or a packet of tissues."

ok i cried. 4 times. and i'm ok now. but its just, well ok.

1st shower, 1230pm, tears of sadness

Miss Deepa's leaving. and she made this really beautiful powerpoint and when i was watching it i just went "wow.." it was so meaningful and well yea, i coudlnt stand it so i cried. and then another typical Michelle moment. when it was over i pushed my hands in the air and shouted "GROUP HUG!!" and then beat. everyone looked at me. giving me those weird looks like "what is Michelle doing now?". i was practically screaming in my head "group hug!! lets go hug Miss Deepa!!" i look back at them and tried to use my brain power to move them but i dont have brain power so hee. i got up, and in a really weird and retarded way, ran to Miss Deepa to give her a hug. and i just started crying more. why, i really dont know. and then i ran back to my seat. and before you know it, the bell rang.

2nd shower, 4-5pm, tears of frustration

Lorraine and Elc were going to come to my house. so after lunch we took bus 10 to my home. when we got off the bus, i checked my pocket because i thought i had dropped something. beat. "i left my wallet on the bus." Lorraine said. and i was like "really!?" and shes like "yeah!" i looked at the bus driving away and looked back at them and shouted "run!" and just like that we started running for the bus. i soon lagged to the back becasue you know i cant run. i'm so sorry Lorraine. and i stopped, and then Elc stopped and the bus was getting away and Lorraine stopped and started crying. i felt so bad. i'm really sorry. if i hadnt stopped we could have caught up. so i told them "ok you'll come to my house because i dont have any money now. i'll ask my mum to send us to Tam and we'll get your wallet back." so there we were walking back home. and when we got back i asked Sit to serve them water while i talked to mum.

Me: mum, can you send my friends and i to tampines?
Mum: what? nononono.
Me: no wait mum listen to me.
Mum: you're not going.
Me: mum! my friend dropped her wallet on the bus and..

thats how it started off. the drama level went up. my mum didnt want to send us. and i was like "why!?" and she said it was a lost cause and i was like "mum! i know but can't you just send us there?" and well alot happened and hurtful words were exchanged but the ultimate thing was, that i couldnt go. i asked my mum if i could just follow them. we'll take the bus, we dont even have to bother her but she said no. she kept saying it was silly and we hsould just call the sbs because the probability of getting it back was so low. i know mum, i know. but i just wanted to give it a shot. when i went down i was having an internal struggle. i can't let Lorraine down. why didnt she want to help her? why couldnt she send us? i seriously thought of just leaving. and really that was what i wanted to do. i told Lorraine that we could go on our own. and when we were about to go i, i dont know, realised that i could be in BIG trouble if i just left. so i went in and intercomed my mum. i was planning on just telling her that i was leaving and then hang up and run. but i didnt. no Michelle you didnt. you went up. you got another shelling. you cried. not on purpose because i watned her to let me go. i just cried. i tried to understand. i know its stupid. but why cant we just try? why cant we just go. we wouldnt be bothering you. why cant you just let me go? but she didnt. and she won. when i came down, i stopped crying.

3rd shower, 4-5pm, tears of hurt

how was i suppsoed to tell them? you wouldnt understand becasue it wasnt you. i wanted to help them and i couldnt even do that. they were sitting by the black gate and i sat down. i told them i couldnt go and they had to go by themselves. and then i dont know why, i burst out crying again. its like, i dont know. i was telling them why. why? why? i know it was silly but i wasnt rational mum. i didnt know what to do. i wanted to help. this wasnt a big thing. and so i cried. and i couldnt stop. and then Lorraine decided to tell her grandma. and just then the drama level upped a notch.

My mum came in. i saw her out of the corner of my eye while Lorraine was talking to her grandma. she stayed there. hidden. waiting for the right time. and when Lorraine was done, she came out. and said that she'd fetch us. but also told us about the low probability. i mean i know. i know the low probability. but i just had to do it. i thought my mum just said that becasue she overheard Lorraine. and that she saw Lorraine cry. and so the trip there was a silent one. but at least we were going. at least we could try.

when we reached there we found out someone had returned Lorraines wallet. and i mean i was overjoyed! but i couldnt go home. so we went to Fox for a while before heading back. and when i got back, it was talking non-stop.

4th shower, 650pm, tears of, i'm not sure

when i got back i was ok. but the moment i stepped into the hall it was like family court. with my brother. my brother being the phscological lawyer gonnabe he is, decided to battle out what just happened with me. so the whole time till 715 we were argueing. i was stating my point he was stating mums. and now i understand. i wasnt rational, i didnt know. i didnt realise i made my mum feel scared. that i made her feel insecure about our relationship. i didnt know. and i pretended i didnt. i wanted to kick myself. Michelle, you and your pride. halfway i broke down. i started crying again. and this time i really didnt know why. was it tears of guilt? hurt? or maybe i was caught up in the moment but i dont know. i just knew i had to cry. and after all that my brother just said:

"Michelle i dont want you to do anything. i just want you to consider these 3 points. when mum picked me up, she was very rational. she told be everything. i dont know the whole story, but from i know she was scared. you know you're very sensitive Michelle, and she knows that. she was afraid that you'd blame her or hate her. two, she was angry. dont you see Michelle, if it happened to any other person you would react the exact same way she did? she was mad that you didnt see the point. and then distress, because yeah she was afraid you would blame her. whatever you decide to do is up to you. because i talked to you on my own accord. i gotta go, bye."

and that was that. how was i suppose to react? i dont know. i still dont know. i havent talked to my mum yet. i know i should. i know i have to do something. to let her know thats its ok. that i'm sorry for everything. i want to, but i cant. oh gosh Michelle your stupid pride! i know now. i know why you said all those things. i know that i was in the wrong. i know i was being a bad daughter but i cant tell you. i cant just go up to you and tell you i'm sorry. we dont work that way. it weird but we dont.

sorry for all the grammer errors and spelling mistakes. i just had to type it all out. i'm really sorry Lorraine, Elc, and mum.

i know i have to do something. but maybe, the best thing to do is nothing.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia":)

Hello! posting again. nothings really been up this week except on friday. on friday, Lorraine and Elc came over and it was really fun (for me especially) because i helped them straighten their hair and helped Lorraine straighten and curl her hair. Also i ruined their face by applying make up on it haha and then there was the thing with my brother. but well, thats my brother! now you know! look beyond his er, looks and realised how he is. actually he isnt that bad. i mean he's nice. not a huge jerk or anything like that. but sometimes hes like that. ah, brothers. okok, i know my brothers er "cute" although i'll keep denying it but its kinda weird when someone tells you that. like imagine this situation.

Scene: Studio (Class playing Family boardgames, picture of my brothers ez link on the floor thanks to Lynette, Mrs Ho walks past)

*Not exact conversation

Lynette: You have to roll the dice on his face!
Me: oh gosh...
Mrs Ho: (walks past)
Lynette ( i think) : Mrs Ho! Mrs Ho! this is Michelle's brother! cute right?
Mrs Ho: (looks) not bad eh, quite cute

ok now imagine my face. or your face. if someone just said something like that about your sibling. and then like put that expression into mine. i know! its so, awkward. and basically my brother is a hot topic in church, not exactly but like for example when i go to church and my brother doesnt, and i talk to the aunties or uncles, first question,

"You brother didn't come today?"

or when he's there. they basically just talk about him they ask "hows the army?", "what are your university plans?", "So Kenneth, any girlfriend?". while i stand there. shifting my feet about and bouncing on the spot. and when he isnt they ask me " Why didn't your brother come today?" and sometimes i become the annoying younger sister and go "he's out with his new girlfriend Melissa, or Janet. i can't remember!" and then my dad gives me a look. and i give a sheepish smile and apologise. i know its wrong and i feel bad about it, but this is the guy who has tormented me for years! the one who made me cry and explore the dark side of Michelle. this is my brother we're talking about! but he got better over the years. so i guess i have no reason to say that anymore. okok, Michelle, dont say such thigns anymore. he's your brother.

Speaking of family, we're having the monthly Wong family dinner tonight. Vietnamese food. ok, every month, the 4 of us will dress up for no apparent reason and go out to dinner to compensate for the fact that we dont eat dinner together at all. and usually my mum, will dress up but today she doesnt really want to becasue theres football. my dad, will dress up as well and he's happy that we do this because he gets to eat, but also he doesnt want to spend too much money. ah, dads. and then my brother, well at first he dressed up as well, then he stopped and started going in Bermudas and oversized t-shirts. and i like these family dinners. because i get to dress to the nines for fun. sorry i'm like that. i dont go out often so i dont get to dress up. and so i take these dinners as an excuse to really dress up. i'm repeating my words. right, ok. but the most interesting part of dinner isnt all this, but what happens when we get there.

Top 10 criterias for the Dinner to be a true blue Wong Famliy dinner:
1. All of us must be present
2. We only deciede where to go on that day itself
3. We eat foods from a different country every month
4. We can't decide what to get and end up eating off each others plates
5. There'll be an arguement
6. There will be talk of football
7. How Michelle's doing in school will also come up
8. Someone will complain about something
9. My brother will ask if we can drop him off somewhere
10. We go home wishing we hadn't eaten that much and my dad will turn to me and say "Michelle, we have to go to the gym tmr." and we stare at our tummies and smile.

hee, so thats my family. not perfect, not Bree worthy. but nice. normal. ok maybe not so normal, but still nice. and i wouldnt trade them for anyone else.

oh hey this was long! and i'd better get ready now. maybe i can lay off posting for 2 weeks. haha, ok. The sound of musics in town, so long... farewell... so long... farewell... and good night.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

hello, i'm updating so quick! but i have to. today was great. first its a friday. and like when its friday, suddenly everyone goes "hey, its a friday." like they just realised it. friday means the weekends coming which to me means, that i can sleep late. haha.

today we watched a video on abortion. most of the time my hands were covering my face and going "oh my gosh.." and then peeking out again and doing the same thing. abortion is really, i dont know what to say. i never thought abortion was so harsh. i always thought that it'd be ok if you were prenant under 16 to get an abortion but its not. no one should go through that, dead or alive. even a little baby. they showed the little baby's hands and legs. its body, ah! its an it now. it could've been a he, or a she! and its face and it was so, bad. you never know how its really like till you see it. abortion is definately not on a teenagers to do list. i dont know why i was so affected by it. but like, you can't watch that and not be. ok, ha. got that off my chest. ok now moving on.

we went to the beach today! snuck there. it was 4 plus so i thought it was ok. and when we got there i kept pestering Lorraine and Lynette to go home. sorry guys! and i realised something about myself. i'm super paranoid. i kept thinking that if we went too far in we would die. so i decided to liberate myself. so i did it. i sat in the water. i let water splash all over me. and thanks again guys for like encouraging me to go in. and the waves really pushed us over! and at the end i had sand in my pants. we were digging a hole. because Lorraine asked, "whats underneath the sand?" and Lynette said "Water." because she had dug before. so we decided to dig. used a stick to dig. and then Lorraine started making sand hearts. and Lynette was playing in the water. and i was there, digging and digging. and finally i gave up, haha:). and played in the water too. we threw sand into the water and wished the best to Lynette and her "attachment". haha, like an email. "attachment". haha.

haha! i just realised how funny that was. like an email, "attachment". hahahahaha. ok sorry, i'm cracking myself up again.

and so in the end we were soaking wet and it was really late. so we walked to the bus stop and gave an aunty $1 in turn for 80cents in coins. and by a stroke of good luck a 31 came and we had to cram in because i couldn't take 197. and so there they were on the steps. and i kept going "come in" because i was afraid they would die. so another thing to kick myself about today. i'm really paranoid aren't i? i mean you dont die. its just really dangerous. and that can lead to them dying. and i dont want them to die. *touches wood*. so i become super naggy. you know the type "do your homework, remember to study, bring this tmr, dont run across the road." yep. gosh i'm annoying! and paranoid! so, i must destress. i must liberate myself. but i dont know. its not a good thing right?

and oh hey today, the 8th of April, was the founding of the LADIES sorority. i'm sorry if i havent got to ask you to join yet. its pretty lame i know. heh. but before you say no, you have to hear my "please join the sorority" speech. and then you say no. hee:).

tmr is Gladys' birthday! happy birthday girl. 14 years old. wow, haha.

uh-oh. my dads suppsoed to call the person from the bank today. i hope he doesnt. *crosses fingers* come on, cross along with me! its going to be so embarrassing. and my dads back from bangkok! but he's leaving tmr again. so i'll only get to see him next week. at first i thought it was cool. cause like my dad never went for all these company trips. but now that he's going so regularly, you kinda feel weird a bit. you start to miss him. and now i dont know if its such a cool thing anymore.

oh hey this is long. and twice in a week moreover. ok, have a good weekend everyone!

Michelle's words of wisdom: Always think before you act. that way you can't regret it.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

hey. had drama today. was the best! we had bonding at macs and it was so funny. and very er, censored, but funny censored. and according to Lorraine, the guy next to us was hopelessly laughing. i love those people. haha. and Mr Barton's really good. best drama sessions ever.

saturday, i had fun on saturday too. went to Marlenes farewell. read Aisha's blog for more info. got a temporory tatoo:)

sunday, missed church again. my dad went to bangkok. he's coming back on friday and leaving again on sat. so i'll be missing next week as well.

monday, night of the phonecall. haha. and i studied a lot for maths. but as usual, it'll probably end up in nought. and i watched Desperate Housewives for the first time in a very long time.

tuesday, maths ca. i freaked out when i got the paper. i seriously got a panic attack. so i can only pray now. if i fail this i'm dead for sure. studied for chinese.

wednesday, had chinese, oh wait wednesdays today. haha. ok so chinese was pretty ok. not as bad as i thought so i'm keeping my fingers crossed. yeah we had bonding and i told them my phonecall stories. haha.

okok, and i know its getting old but i'm still tickled by the Alvin thing. hahahahaha.

"i'm Alvin from the bank."

and cue laughter.

*audience laughs*

CUT! bad take. another one. ok one more time. and 3,2,1 rolling, action!

"i'm Alvin from the bank."

and 1,2, laugh!

*audience laughs*

NO! cut. one more time. last time. please everyone, more emotion. this is Alvin! Alvin from the bank! ok. rolling take 3, and... action!

"i'm Alvin from the bank."

*audience laughs*

*smiles* perfect:)

i'm so sorry. i'm just hahahaha. i know its not that funny but hahahahaha. aww ok why not. just laugh along with me. it balances your chi. young people are too depressed now a days.

ok. i've got an idea. i dont know if i'm really going to go through with it or not. i'm leaning towards the not doing it side. but maybe i should. do something exciting in my life for a change. ok Michelle you've already done that. but something else. something that has pure humilation written all over it.

Alvin from the bank, meet Ah Hua from Jurong.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

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