Hello! Guess what my hobbit name is?!

Tigerlily Foxburr of Loamsdown.

And guess what my elvish name is?

Tári Helyanwë. (Tari Helyanwe)

And this, is what my name would be if i were a man.

Ferdirand Foxburr of Loamsdown
Aerandir Helyanwë (Aerandir Helyanwe)

Hahaha!

Also..

According to the Red Book of Westmarch,
In Middle-earth,
Michelle Wong Yi Lin was a
Inbred Barrow-wight

Elven Name Possibilities for Michelle Wong Yi Lin
The root name suitable for feminine and masculine is: Telarda
Another masculine version is: Telardaion
More feminine versions are: Telardaiel,Telardaien,Telardawen

Hobbit lad name for Michelle Wong Yi Lin:
Andwise Took from Deephallow
Hobbit lass name for Michelle Wong Yi Lin:
Melilot Took from Deephallow

(I'm related to Pippin!!)

Dwarven Name for Michelle Wong Yi Lin
Sarin Redslayer (This name is for both genders).

And HAPPY FEET is coming out soon!

This news brings joy to all penguins and penguin lovers around the world. So i say, we should all watch it and have happy feet.

I'm feeling quite annoying today if you couldn't tell.

Do you know whats weird? I always make the same typo error with the word "quite". I'd always somehow spell it as "qutie". Its quite weird.

Avril taught me this really cool thing to do with the finger actions of the word "Whatever". I'll show you some time. Its the most amusing thing i've ever seen :D.



34 DAYS TILL SARAH.

And the countdown begins!


Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

Friends, family, penguins and non-penguins.

I have a funny tale to share!

Though at first i was debating whether or not to post it, seeing as it is quite crude and this is the internet. One should not add to the crudeness on the internet! It is not pleasant and would corrupt us all. Then we will cry.

If you do not wish to read on considering my weird flow of language today or are put off by somewhat crude things, you then may choose door number 3. Awaiting you would be a luxury 10 day cruise to the Bahamas, a lunch stopover at Greece just so you can say you've been there, and, a free convertible! Just to raise the drama level of this little shinanigan.


Oh, you're still here? Well i suppose it is your sanity...

Today i had lunch with the entire family including the aunts from australia, well, one of them, and the uncles and their families. Oh right! And my cousins. Who hate me. I do not know why.

I'm serious. They just do. They steal my phone, snicker around me, plus they haven't returned my Lizzie Mcguire Movie VCD for like 2 years now. I mean thats like not right. At all. You know what i mean?

Hahahaha ok fine fine.

Point is, they haaaaaaaaaaaaate me.

So anyway, there i was at the restaurant. Mastering the skill of picking up peanuts with chopsticks and doing quite well i must say, when suddenly my stomach felt a little upset. But i brushed it off without further thought.

On came the first dish and second, when my tummy really started to rumble. I excused myself to go to the toilet and came back when i felt better.

I could barely eat anything else when i had to go to the toilet to rest again. Apparently, there were two. I didn't know which one to choose so i just went to the other that i didn't go to before. It was decidedly dirtier. So when i finally had to go a third time, i picked the initial cleaner one and just sat there willing the pain to go away.

You might think the pain i'm referring to are my cousins. Gasps! Such vile thoughts!!

But alright alright i'll admit they were a little part of it. Though most of me was just praying for some sort of comfort.

Suddenly, the door opens.

A voice calls out.

"Michelle, are you inside?"

Oh dear gosh its the oldest one.

"Er, ye-ah!"

I hear more footsteps as they step deeper into the toilet. Maybe they do care!

Well, then why are they doubling over in laughter? And giggling and such. How very odd.

"DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE GUYS TOILET?!?!"

More laughter and giggles.

Wait. What?

"No i'm not! This is a unisex toilet. Theres a sign on the door with a guy and a girl on it."

"Er. Michelle, thats like the 'Singapores OK' sign."

Somehow my tummy hurts even more.

"Well thank you very much for telling me but i really don't care right now! So BYE!"

Then they leave. All the while roaring with laughter.


Ok. This is my funny story.

Don't argue with me.


Michelle went "Hey macadamia":)








Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

You know, i really have to learn how to say no.

Want to know why? Why, even if you don't, i'm going to tell you anyway! Because i'm disillusional and depressed! And on the verge of breaking out into spasms!

On another note, i am now, chilling, haha thats cool isn't it, i'm chilling, at Eunice's house. Everyone say hi to Eunice! Who has a DEMONIC dog aptly named Happy. Who i scream at everytime i see.

I'm so charming.

Ok! So today, seeing as how i have no life other than the one i pseudo live online, i went to Orchard Road again. At that particular point of time i was craving some form of luxury dairy product, i wandered into the basement of Paragon to buy myself two scoops of icecream from New Zealand Natural! (in case you cared, it was wonderful. And not chocolate!)

Anyway, i was about to walk towards the bus stop outside Lucky Plaza to take the bus 14 home, when out of the blue this guy approaches me and starts talking so fast a hurricane could have swept us up and he'd still be talking at a normal pace.

And this my friends, is the story of how i got groomed.

He started blabbering away about how ugly and bushy and sightly my eyebrows were and telling me that i looked really old and that i really should get them trimmed. Thinking that this was some kind of TV stunt thing because he mentioned that he was on TV before, i was like "No no no! Its ok! Heh heh i'm fine with my eyebrows!" and all but he wouldn't have a word of it. He then started persuading me to let him trim my eyebrows but i was freaking out because for one my mother would murder if i let him and two, i actually like my eyebrows! No matter how evil and unkempt they are.

But did he listen?

Noooooooooooooo.

And mainly well because i fall to the powers of persuasion. I tried telling him that i was scared that my mother would murder because i was scared that my mother would muder namely, me! He kept going on and on about how i would be supporting him if i could just give him 5 minutes of my time and well, you can guess what happened. I said ok.

(Please try not to kill me yet)

I thought he was going to bring me to his salon of sorts, because i thought you know he was some big star and all. Well i don't watch Channel 5 or 8 much so i didn't really know. I know i know, try to ignore my utter stupidity right now. He brought me to the side of Paragon, and i thought he was going to open some secret door or something but he jut asked me to stand on the platform.

Needless to say i was freaking out quite a bit. Why oh why didn't you just run away Michelle. WHY.

I stood on the platform as he started attacking my eyebrows with those evil tweezers. Now i know i'm not supposed to tell-all about girls beauty and grooming secrets, but they HURT. I got him to promise me to make sure that they were unnoticible, like they weren't even plucked. He agreed but i suppose he was just caught up in the adrenaline of the constant blabber that he plucked plucked and oh kept plucking and plucking some more i was so scared it was horrible.

But i didn't tell him this though. I mean, i was trying to be polite!

He showed me one eyebrow and my heart was already palpitating at an unnatural rate, before he continued to do the other one as i made him promise again to make it very slight. Finally, he was done and my eyebrows felt like they were burning. I paid him $10 and scooted off as he asked me to add him on Friendster. But of course, i was still being polite.

I really hope he doesn't google me and find my blog. I know i said this before, but i'm telling you. I really hope he doesn't google me and find my blog!

On the bus trip home my eyebrows felt like they were burning. And i honestly didn't even see them properlly yet. So, when i got home i compressed a piece of ice on to the war zone and prayed that those furry little devils would grow back soon.

I was about to walk into the kitchen to tell Siti about my sidewalk grooming escapade, when she took one look at me and said,

"I hate your eyebrows."

I almost banged my head against the fridge and told her "I know! I don't like them too ok!" and proceeded to tell her about the strange encounter. She started scolding me of course, oh Michelle.. why were you so stupid. Just say no and walk away! Blhablhablahbalh...

Later on after she went through her throng of "I hate your eyebrows i told you never to pluck your eyebrows honestly i'm telling you i don't like them at all" (she really did say that), she went "Ah, but they're not that bad lah" when i asked her again.

Don't ask me why i asked her again. I'm a girl. Go figure.

She told me that she didn't like them, but they looked ok. And then she said she was only telling me that because she knew how i was as i thanked her and trudged forth to Eunices.

I wanted to greet the wonderful girl with "I come bearing shortcakes!" because i did and i thought it might perk her up because well, i thought it was quite cute. As you can see i think alot. And i should probably mention that i wasn't greeted by Eunice but by her bear of a dog Happy who i think hates me with every portion of his little doggy gut. He (i mean Happy) wriggled through the metal at the door and was about to attack me when Eunice's maid saved my dear life. I must remember to thank her and tell her that i am eternally grateful.

Eunice was bathing when i got there. Happy was staring at me with its beady little eyes as i screamed and ran to the room.

Don't give me that look. I bet you'll scream if you see Happy too.

.. who is actually i suppose quite cute looking. But thats not the point!

The point is that cute dogs can be all cute and those cute dogs can hate humans and want to destroy their very existance. I burried my face into Eunice's bed covers.

I heard Happy scratching at her bedroom door and doing that heavy breathing thing as it scratched and breathed and scratched and breathed. I prayed that Eunice would come back soon. And when she finally did i screamed again.

Because Happy was outside.

I know i know.. Michelle yadda yadda you oompah! blhablahbalh yadda yadda i don't care deal with it! blhablahablha yadda yadda ok i should stop this now.

I shall not tell you the greeting we exchanged when we first saw each other. No, trust me, you're better off not knowing.

So i, as usual being the over dramatic that i am, pointed to my eyebrows and asked for her to look. "You plucked your eyebrows!" she exclaimed. To which i replied, "Not by choice!" and babbled to her about the earlier events.

Instead of playing Neopets (yes) like we usually do when we, you know, chill, hahahahahahhaa. Ok fine i'll stop it. We decided to go google this fellow that made my eyebrows non existant.

Before i go on, i have to mention that most things i say are over exaggerations. So i do still have eyebrows, kinda. But they're freaky scary eyebrows which should not be seen by man.

The first page on the list was one i quote "Welcome to Singapore's and USA's Most Handsome Guy Official Web" so i told her that i doubt it was that one, not to be mean i'm terribly sorry, but i just didn't think it was that one. She said something something about me never knowing, and went on to click on the page.

TO MY HORROR. AND SHOCK. It was him!

My eyes burned as there were videos of him doing sit ups and dancing to "Lady Marmelarde". But i knew that i wanted to see the entire webpage.

Everytime we would scroll to see a video, animation or photo, we would scream.

I would like to say its because we're girls, but no.

I mean seriously. No.

Anyway, the whole thing was kind of scary as he dubbed himself a "Professional eyebrow stylist" since September 16th 2001. I remember Eunice scolding me from before. I felt like i should have scolded myself too. Which is why i'm now scolding myself. In my head. Stupid oompah.

If you guys don't know who he is, he's the yellow underwear guy who auditioned for Singapore Idol Season one.

And yes, i am scarred for life. Also, i promise to exert myself more as a person, and leave my grooming to the Gods.

Now, i have this little cube of a situation where i have no idea what to tell my mother. I mean, i could,

a) Tell her the truth, and go "Hey mum you know this guy cornered me on Orchard Road and brought me to the side of Paragon to trim my eyebrows for $10? Good deal right!"

or

b) Tell her a lie, and go "Mum i cut myself while shaving. My face."

or

c) PRAY that she doesn't notice the lack of facial hair. I just love how attractive i sound on my blog.

Ah, decisions decisions.

Ok i have no idea what to do.

Try not to laugh at me tomorrow!

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

I had Maths tuition yesterday because the paper was this morning.

So there i was, walking into Tuition as usual. Unsure of how to tell my lifesaver of a teacher that i'm going to fail A Maths.

No, seriously. I'm going to fail A Maths.

Its not that kind of "AHHHOMGTHEPAPERWASSOHARDOMGI'MGOINGTODIEEEEEEEEEEEEE" kind of things.

It was you know, those, like, real. Things.

I'd prefer melodramatic to the cold hard truth any day!

But, seeing as how this is the world you are living in after all Michelle. This was not the case.

She asked me how my paper went. And i very awkwardly replied, "Er.. very bad." which was the wrong choice of vocabulary in the first place. I could have at least been like,

"Heh. Er..i'm sorry Miss Choo. But not very good. I'm, i'm not sure if i can pass. I don't know what came over me. I was like, 'Michelle, you KNOW this. You KNOW these things!' to myself but, but i just don't know WHY it didn't come to me. I tried Miss Choo! I really tried! But.. but i just don't know!"

I vaguely remember saying something about melodramatic?

So anyway there she was, temper rising within her petite frame. After all those questions about how, why, what and constant short shakes of her head and little "tsks" escaping her mouth every now and then, she settled in to go through my E Maths papers with me as i smiled sheepishly.

I'm telling you. I'm so bad at these situations. Half the time the lady is scolding me i'm fighting back a smile. And its not even because i'm defiant! Heck! I mean the last thing i want to do is make her (even more) mad!

Here i am. Trying to be you know, the good, well mannered student that shuts up when she's being scolded. The one who really is remorseful and hangs her head lowly in shame in fear that her teacher will see the tears brimming at the edges of her eyes. That the teacher will by accidentally see, and heave a big sigh and start comforting her saying that its alright, and that you won't die if you fail A Maths. Completely forgetting that she's her Tutor and starts sharing details about her ex boyfriend who left her feeling somewhat similar in this situation. And we end up never having the lesson because we bond over mindless things like whats your favourite kind of shoe, and wondering how long it'll take us to die and choke from the haze.

But of course, this isn't a fairy tale.

Oh wait not yet! Turns out she has a nephew who comes rushing in halfway because he needed last minute help with Mathematics too. Theres an awkward situation before we finally decide to have tuition at the same time. We bond over mutual hate of Mean, Median and Mode and fall in love as Miss Choo mathematically calculates (is there any other way really?) our compatibility on her Casio calculator.

Ok, i'm sorry. That sounded so bad.

Well right moving on. So. I guess i've already proven my point about this not being the best situation to be in. She remains absolutely ticked off at me the entire lesson, fuelled of course, by my deranged stupidity which rises to an all time high every time i have tuition. Stupidity in many areas. Such as, mathematically, and well, in every other area as well. I'm one of those shy sheepish people. Like you can say something and i won't answer for like, who knows how long before eventually breaking into an awkward smile in hopes that you'll forget how completely weird that just was.

Wow. I really long winded aren't i.

My wonderful Maths tutor (who is really wonderful actually, just that i am unable to reproduce the knowledge that she has imparted unto me, why am speaking like this?) goes through a Cedar Girls and Anglican High School paper. Which i as usual, completed only 2 hours before (well the Anglican High one) which really leaves me puzzled. I mean, i can start doing my tuition work 2 hours before it and actually finish, but yet i can't complete my exam paper given 2 hours and 15 minutes.

Irony anyone?

Oh! This makes me think of Biology :D. Hahaha, red blood cells!

I really should get to the point.

Well halfway she gets really mad at me. Because i thought there was a brackett around the number and the x when really, there wasn't. Little did i know that this would set her off on a mini breakdown as she started rambling about how so many students always think that there are bracketts when there aren't any bracketts and when there are bracketss, they don't see them.

(It didn't help that this mistake happened again further down the paper)

But you know i really didn't want to make her mad! But at the same time i'm so afraid that i'll say something wrong, because face it, i usually do. So i try apologising all the while with a whack of a smile on my face that refuses to be wiped off.

It didn't help again that she started lamenting about how her students are getting from bad to worse, asking herself why.

To which i said, "Er," (sheepish) "Maybe thats why they need tuition?" (cracks sheepish smile in attempt to joke)

Yeah. Why, Michelle?

She then goes on to shake her head and say that i'm not bad really. Something about how i have no problem getting an A1 if i'm just not so careless. Although i have a sinking suspicion she says that to everyone. I mean you know, tuition teachers.

She says that i have one consolation though, to which i immediately perk up. She said that i was hardworking.

My smile grows wider!

.. A little more than her other students.

Oh.

But no matter! I felt happy. At least i was sort of good for something.

Don't tell me how the fact that i'm pseudo hardworking has anything to do with being good for something.

At 5.20 she asks me what time my dad is coming. I say 5.30, and she stares at me. I'm sort of not getting the situation before she kindly reminds me that normally, my tuition lasts 2 hours, so really it should end at 6. Before i realise that the last time i had an hour and a half of tuition was like a year ago. She starts laughing at me and shaking her head saying that she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. Even though she was laughing already. Wheres the logic in that?

Anyway, a girl can always dream of an hour and a half of tuition can't she. I hurriedly call my dad to tell him to come at 6.30 instead, ignoring his laughter on the end of the line.

I love how my posts are always so long. I'm considering putting a summary before each post but i'm not really going to do that.

And you can't make me!

Hahaha.



One day. One day something so exciting will happen that i'll be thrown into a whirlwind of an adventure! Like saving the world, finding hidden treaure, or visiting Penguins in Antarctica.

So until that day comes, i just have to deal with tuition.

Michelle went "Hey macadamia" :)

design (c) maystar designs image (c) maystar designs